Unless you’re Kim Kardashian, “Fifty Shades of Grey” reviews were embargoed until Wednesday morning. But when it rains corny sex dramas, it floods. After a couple of outlets published their reactions to the film, others followed suit, which gives us the opportunity to step back and let it sink in that some people do, in fact, like this movie. HuffPost Entertainment saw it Monday night, and while we haven’t published any of our coverage yet, let’s just say we weren’t huge fans. Regardless, despite the sterilization of E.L. James’ more graphic sex scenes and initial questions about whether Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan have any actual chemistry, we can report that it seems the record-breaking ticket sales will leave fans of the book quite satisfied. Here are excerpts from some of the first reviews:
1. “It’s a slow build to the smutty bits, and one that’s disappointingly devoid of tension. Even so, the movie is, by definition, a stronger proposition than the book because it strips away the oodles of cringe-inducing descriptions and internal monologue that tip the text heavily toward self-parody. Things grow more compelling once Grey whips out his nondisclosure agreement — along with a nice Pouilly-Fumé, naturally — and shows Ana his ‘playroom,’ expertly outfitted with state-of-the-art S&M gear.” — Sheri Linden, The Hollywood Reporter
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9. “Free of full-frontal nudity and excessive thrusting and, well, orgasming as this movie is, it never gets to that envelope-pushing place. Which I suspect will disappoint many people, understandably. Oh well. Maybe I’m a sex-shaming prude, but I didn’t mind getting the less explicit version, because the movie is at its best when it keeps things swift and light.” — Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair
