Melanie says she loves her partner of four years and that she’s physically attracted to him. She just hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past three years.
“It’s very frustrating being somebody who used to be so interested in sex and having such a voracious sex life only to not,” Melanie, a 27-year-old student in Canada, said. “It affects my self-esteem. It affects my day-to-day existence.”
Melanie spoke candidly to The Huffington Post about intimate details of her personal life on the condition that her real name not be used.
This loss of desire came after taking antidepressants to treat a misdiagnosis of anxiety disorder and depression. As the medication took effect, Melanie’s libido dropped and her sex life pretty much ceased to exist. She eventually weaned herself off the medication with the help of her doctor, but her sex drive never returned.
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That said, many women have reservations about taking on the risks of medication, especially since low libido is often at least partially caused by situational factors.
Even if not every woman who struggles with libido is willing to take a pill, it’s hard to deny that the need for treatment is there. “I’d love [medication],” wrote one woman on Facebook. “I’ve lost a lot of that drive — I’m in my 30s mind you. It’s so frustrating and sad.”
For now, Melanie and women like her can rely on therapy to help them inch their way back to the sex lives they once had. It’s up to the FDA to decide if pills like flibanserin are the answer, but there’s clearly a need for more dialogue around the issue. Life without sexual desire is something many people just aren’t willing to accept.
“It’s not just prudishness,” Melanie said. “It’s a real problem. I’m just trying to get my life back.”
