When Carla Miller, 23, walked into her aunt and uncle’s house in 2011 and saw her infant cousin for the first time, she began to cry. She and the rest of her family members had prayed for the child during his gestation, arriving as he did unexpected to an older mother. Here he was, healthy, and Miller could not help but weep.
Miller’s aunt, Lenet Pacheco, said she knew from that moment that her niece was the perfect candidate to be little Eliseo’s godmother.
“We wanted someone that Eliseo could rely on to give him love and guidance whenever he needed it,” Pacheco told HuffPost by email. Miller “radiates this love and goodness that we notice every time we see her.”
Several weeks later, Miller returned to the house for what she thought would be a casual dinner, she told HuffPost over the phone. Halfway through the meal, her uncle brought out a bottle of champagne and Pacheco produced the invitations they had prepared for Eliseo’s baptism. As her eyes skimmed the page, Miller got to the bottom and was shocked to see her name listed as godmother.
“It was kind of like walking into a surprise party because we were getting together to celebrate that I was going to be a godmother to my cousin,” she said.
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“I wouldn’t say it’s so much about right religion,” Lewis said. “I think it’s about love, just really love this kid. Love the kid enough to share the parental project — making space for a loving and generous adult to emerge.”
Miller said she has at times struggled with the fear of being inadequate or “hypocritical” as a godparent if she were to ever lapse from her Catholic faith. Describing her religious upbringing and family culture, Miller said: “We all try to meet these ideals. We know that we’re not perfect, but we love each other throughout it. As a godmother, I hope to do the same thing for my godson, to let him know that we’re all human and we’re here for each other.”
Miller added that the Catholic faith serves as “a guiding light” that she trusts will always be a part of her life, regardless of the shape it takes. Similarly, she said she hopes to maintain a strong connection to Eliseo at every stage of his life, even if the specifics of their relationship change over time.
“I don’t want to lose out on the time in the middle,” Miller said. “Those transition periods will be the most important and they’re the hardest ones to keep up.
“The little things, the little visits, the little gifts and discussions about faith or everything life … I want to keep them up as frequently as possible so that we can have a lot of memories in our life’s relationship.”
