WASHINGTON — Every election cycle can be considered, first and foremost, a monument to hype. With every passing week, the political world is a blizzard of brash predictions, bold pronouncements, and bad advice. This year, your Speculatroners shall attempt to decode and defang this world with a regular dispatch that we’re calling “This Week In Coulda Shoulda Maybe.” We hope this helps, but as always, we make no guarantees!
Hillary Clinton: Any Minute Now … Or Then
It’s a mystery of the age: When is Hillary Clinton going to announce her candidacy for president? And the answer is: Hillary Clinton exists in a perpetual meta-state between “always running” and “never not running.” Hillary Clinton is the astronaut in the “Interstellar” fourth-dimensional book room, forever warning herself about the dangers of embarking on the journey to the White House. But if she never embarks, how will she end up in the Place Between Time And Space, to warn herself? This is an unresolvable conundrum, until it isn’t. But here’s what we don’t not know about her intentions.
Jan. 26: It’s all happening, according to a deeply reported Politico piece from Mike Allen, who writes, “Not only is she running, but we have a very good idea of what her campaign will look like”:
Hillary Clinton is in the final stages of planning a presidential campaign that will most likely be launched in early April and has made decisions on most top posts, according to numerous Democrats in close contact with the Clintons and their aides.
Campaign advisers say the likelihood of a campaign, long at 98 percent (she never really hesitated, according to one person close to her), went to 100 percent right after Christmas, when Clinton approved a preliminary budget and several key hires.
Perhaps the most significant detail in the whole report, however, was this: “Most of the top slots have been decided, with one notable exception, communications director.” This would prove to be a little prophetic days later, when, in another deeply reported piece from Mike Allen, communications seem to have broken down:
Hillary Clinton, expecting no major challenge for the Democratic nomination, is strongly considering delaying the formal launch of her presidential campaign until July, three months later than originally planned, top Democrats tell Politico.
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Rand Paul: Paul “will need to broaden his appeal far beyond his father’s hard-core supporters if he hopes to win the GOP nomination his father never could.” Alternatively, Paul “could be 2016’s Howard Dean.”
Scott Walker: Will either be Jeb Bush’s “most formidable opponent,” or he “will be the logical selection for Bush’s vice-presidential running mate.”
Finally, there’s this: “Why Mike Huckabee will lose the war on Beyoncé”
All The Advice That’s Fit To Aggregate
“Hillary Clinton should be worried about Elizabeth Warren! Jeb Bush should be worried about Scott Walker! He also needs a “better answer on immigration ASAP,” or else Chris Cillizza will unleash one of his devastating “call your office” jokes on Twitter. Using Carly Fiorina to shout at Hillary Clinton might not be the best idea, you guys. And finally, George Pataki, your campaign is making everyone around you feel sad and you need to say you’re sorry and stop doing it right now.”
We’ll Leave You With This, Whatever This Is
Former President Bill Clinton has had plenty of nicknames, but if his wife becomes president, he’ll need another one — and he already has an idea for what it could be.
“Let’s say, if a woman became president, we could, I could be called Adam,” Clinton said in an interview with the “Rachael Ray Show” airing Thursday, referring to the first man of Judeo-Christian scripture.
