If it hasn’t happened already, it probably will at some point: the moment you don’t like one of your child’s friends. What do you do?
I remember when I was growing up and my mom didn’t love me spending time with one of the girls in our neighborhood. She didn’t forbid me from being with her but didn’t encourage our get-togethers, either.
Eventually, I realized this friend wasn’t the right fit for me for a host of reasons, and the relationship fizzled. Years later, I wondered: How did my mom know?
Clinical psychologist Kirsten Cullen Sharma, co-director of the early childhood clinical service at the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Child Study Center, says the first thing parents need to ask themselves is why they don’t like one of their children’s friends.
“Is it because they don’t like that person’s mom? Is it because that kid gets really good grades and it’s easy for them and that person is a little narcissistic? Or is it something that is really serious that you’re worried your child would model an unhealthy behavior?” asked Cullen Sharma, who is also a clinical assistant professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine.
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A survey by ParentFurther.com found that only 10% of teens said they had not been influenced by peer pressure and 46% of teens said they teased somebody because their friends were teasing that person.
Scheff, who works with parents of teens who are engaging in high risk behaviors, said there is another side to this issue: Sometimes your own child is the problem, and that is not so easy to accept.
“If your child is hanging with a less than desirable crowd, your child might be part of things you don’t want to face either but need to,” said Scheff. “It is so frustrating when parents say, ‘Not my child. It’s his friends.’ “
What would you do if you didn’t like one of your child’s friends? Share your thoughts in the comments or tell Kelly Wallace on Twitter or CNN Living on Facebook.
