Just A Sip: The Ultimate Romance Drinking Game

Unfortunately for E.L. James’ fans, the Fifty Shades of Grey adaptation is reportedly lackluster. Instead of suffering through the leading couple’s uncomfortable exchanges, we suggest cracking open a new romance novel, be it for laughs or genuine interest. If you’re on the hunt for comparable erotic titles, we’ve got a few suggestions. Or, if you’d prefer to keep your bodice neatly in place thank-you-very-much, play our romance novel drinking game! It promises to expose most of the gender norms on full display in nearly every piece of erotic fiction ever sold or self-published.

Pick up that one copy you have hidden at the bottom of your closet a brand new title at the nearest bookstore, crack it open to any page at all (we don’t suggest skipping the exposition, which is usually rife with unnecessary metaphors), and get sipping:

Take a sip if the book has a weirdly specific title explaining the entire story, e.g. The Homecoming Queen Gets Her Man or The Desert King’s Housekeeper Bride or The Fireman’s Ready-Made Family.

Take a drink if either lead states that the other is the only person in the entire world capable of sexually satisfying him or her, e.g. “And there was no one other than Jackson capable of bringing her body such pleasure” (Her Unexpected Hero).

Take a shot for every simultaneous orgasm.

Finish your drink if the playboy male lead suddenly discovers a deep capacity for commitment and monogamy because the female lead is somehow both alluringly sexy and tooth-achingly sweet, all rolled into one eternally satisfying package, e.g. “That’s when he knew that he truly wanted more. And he’d been wanting it for a long time, but admitting it felt too much like walking off a cliff. Until now. Until Breeanne” (Back in the Game). Or, “It was never about two weeks. It was never about the word girlfriend. Hell, it wasn’t even ever about sex. It was always about Mad. I couldn’t ever make another relationship work because my heart’s always belonged to Mad.” (The Boy Next Door).

The Huffington Post