With my girls in the second and third grade, I figured in the not too distant future it would be time for the “sex talk.”
But now I’m wondering if I need to have the conversation a lot sooner than I had originally thought and if the whole concept of having a “sex talk” is as outdated as the BlackBerry I still won’t give up.
“In some ways, I think the ‘tech talk’ is replacing the ‘sex talk’ because our kids are learning about sex from tech,” said Diana Graber, who teaches “cyber civics” at a middle school in Aliso Viejo, California.
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Once children know how to Google, Graber says, they can easily stumble upon sexual images. “Sex” and even “porn” have also been found to be among the more popular words searched by 7-year-olds, she added, as shocking as that might sound.
“We’re giving children access to smartphones, tablets, and all sorts of digital devices so young,” said Graber, who is co-founder of CyberWise.org, a digital literacy site for parents, educators, and tweens and teens. “There is a good chance they will be exposed to inappropriate content before they’re probably ready to have that ‘sex talk’ that we used to have at 10 and 11. That’s why I think having the ‘tech talk’ first is so important.”
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“Use parental controls on your devices; set limits on what they can and can’t see — and be really honest and open about it,” said Gumbinner, a mom of two girls, ages 7 and 9. “Let them know what you are doing and why. If you start talking to your kids early about tech, they’ll understand you’re making decisions in their best interests.”
The “tech talk” has to be an on-going conversation, in part, because technology itself is always changing, said Gumbinner.
“As soon as we think we’ve mastered one thing, something totally new pops up. And the really hard thing is that kids are learning about social apps and networks way before we are,” she added.
“So keep an eye on your kids’ computer time and Internet usage, know who they’re communicating with and be honest about it. It’s not spying if you talk about it openly.”
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